Life's unexpected shifts...a heart's awakening!

This morning I woke, ready to take on the day of writing and hopefully finishing my fantasy book.  I poured my sweet aromatic coffee and brought the warm mug to my lips.  That first, most savoring touch of morning brew hightened my senses as life began to pour into my body once more.  I sat and enjoyed the next few sips, making sure my mind was alert and prepared for creating a magically wonderful ending to my fantasy tale.  Then, the phone rang.  As I took notice of the caller I.D., I knew it wasn't good news.  Though I live far away from my family, I stay in touch enough to know that they typically are at work so early in the day.  The caller was my brother who went on to inform me that one of my most cherished family members had passed away unexpectedly while the sky was still black.  Tears rushed out of my eyes and all things planned were now postponed for something of greater importance; remembering.

Today, I write in honor of my Grandmother of whom I am extremely thankful to have experienced almost four decades of life with.  Her precious smile and curious laughter when she greeted me on her front porch always brought me comfort.  Just like the way she called my name, often after I said something rediculous.  She never judged nor shamed.  She would pat my hand, sandwiched between her arthritic palms, and tell me how love often operated.  Her words were gentle and sincere, always hopeful of healing old wounds.  With eyes that told me she loved and cared for me deeply and a fragile embrace that wrapped around all of who I am, she is the bravest and lovliest woman that I know.  Her heart is, and always has been committed to my grandfather, spanning almost sixty years of marriage.  Now, she will be able to rejoin her prized companion through her courage and strength of walking through the doors of eternity.  Today, my tears are of sadness and of peace, knowing that my grandmother's life has been completed on earth and now will begin anew in heaven.  I love you Grandma.  Thanks for being my angel!  

Thankful for Quiet!

As the weekend passed by, I found the quiet around me surreal.  As the people around me emptied the complex's parking lots to visit family for the holidays, I found this a great time to focus on my book and write, a lot!  Sometimes, writers need a naturally quiet environment, as opposed to the aritifical ones that we try very hard to create, which can be exhausting.  When noise is all around us, it can often be a strenuous task to block the outside world and keep ourselves from being distracted.  This past weekend, I found it a great opportunity, and an easy one, to just write without worrying about distractions.  The parking lot of my complex was vacant and the maintenance crew had off.  There were no passerbys shouting at their dogs as they "walked" them.  When I looked out of my window, I saw peace.

The fantasy book for young readers that I've been working on, requires my full attention.  With creative worlds, characters, and happenings, it was much easier this weekend to envision the scenes because I wasn't distracted.  Though I didn't get to see family for the holiday, I did get to see some of them clearly in my mind, as a few of the characters are based off of their personalitites.  Yes, I long for such moments of quiet and, despite missing a thanksgiving feast, I engulfed far less calories!  Besides, I'm thankful everyday, which means that I can celebrate Thanksgiving when I'm not creating a fantasy world.

Black Friday Blue-Tooth's rise to Shame! (song included)

I can't help to think about all the wonderful people who are getting trampled, even as I write this.  I woke this morning envisioning aisles filled with wounded bodies, lying helplessly on the floor, yet amazingly their arms still reached for another sale item just at the tip of their fingers.  I saw shopping bags ripped open, spilling their contents onto the tiled retail race-track.  Now sing along to my Black Friday song, just think Rudolph:

Men, women, and even children, (And HERE IS THE SONG PART) dashing and smashing, jetting and fretting, shoving and no-loving, until they finally saw, the most famous item of alllllllll...two-dollars off a blue tooth, that had a very tiny light, and if you every blocked it, your hand would light up at night...all of the other shoppers, used to laugh and called them games, they never felt that bluetooth, would ever amount to fame...then one dropped call yesterday, turkeys came to say, why don't you buy something great, something you'll appreciate...then all the other shoppers, ran into their nearest mall, bluetooth the alien's headset, you'll be used in bathroom stalls!

Happy Black Friday!

Happy to say Thanks!

Imagine if it was the law to say "Thank You" everytime you spoke to someone.  Regardless of the other person being a stranger, a family member, a lover, a long time friend, etc.  And, if you didn't say "Thank You" then the other person could report you to the authorities, who could garnish your wages, arrest you, imprison you for repeat offenses, and so on.  Now, imagine if someone didn't say "Thank You" to you and it was your responsibility, your duty to report them.  It is your role and their role to help society maintain an attitude of thanks.  What if it was your lover who didn't say "Thank You?"  What if it was your mother? Or your child?  Would you fulfill your duties to society? 

In today's communities across the globe, saying "Thank You" is often neglected.  Instead, many have turned away from such a simple saying and have forgotten what it is to be thankful.  No, I wouldn't want it to be a law, it would certainly lose its meaning of importance as history has taught us, but I do wish that the world would remember how good it makes us feel and the affect it has on those we say it to.  So, be happy to say "Thanks" and be thankful that it isn't law.  Also, if you're thankful in your heart for all you do have in life, you'll be happier to share it!  Happy Thanks-Giving day!

In the midst of greatness!

It is amazing when a person realizes they are in the midst of something great.  Regardless of whether it is earth-shattering or something more personal, when greatness happens you must embrace it.  As I continue writing my fantasy book for younger readers, I realized yesterday that I was now captivated by the story.  When I first starting writing the story it seemed a grueling task, one that I wasn't sure I was capable of actually completing.  However, I pushed through it because I wanted to write this story for a very personal reason.  Now, as the story continues to unfold and the characters and details become livelier to me, I have discovered that I am in the midst of something great, for me, and hopefully many others who may one day read this book.

So, how does one realize when they are in the midst of their own great happening?  The answer is relatively easy which often makes it difficult to see.  So easy in fact, that many, including myself, often overlook it.  Realizing you are in the midst of something great unfolding becomes known when you accept that it is consuming you.  You cannot stop thinking about it, visualizing it, wanting more of it.  It is touching on the core of emotions and desires that you are trying to create, much like a detective wanting nothing more than to solve the case.  Then, after you realize something wonderful is taking shape, embrace it as it has embraced you.  Ride it out until completion and an overwhelming sense of great satisfaction will wave over you and fill your senses, causing them to erupt with emotional pleasure.  Yes, it is that sensual.  It is time to feel proud of yourself for creating something great!

A day of mindfulness!

It's a lovely fall Saturday and I am stepping away from writing today so that my mind has the room to create with little distractions.  Sometimes, we just need to give our mind a break so that it can download the scenery and events of the upcoming chapter, or blog, or article, or whatever.  Yesterday, I wrote so much that I became obsessed with it to the point that I had difficulty stopping.  Not necessarily a bad thing but exhausting nonetheless.  So, in honor of all you who are driven to press on and make it in this world, I wish you a happy Saturday. May you be mindful of your mind!

Fantasy: Day 2

Now that I had completed the first chapter of my new fantasy book for young readers (ages 10-15), and have all of the places, characters, and so forth written neatly next to my computer for quick reference, it was time to start on chapter 2.  Wow, that was a lot to say.  Coincidentally, that is also how I felt.  As I stared at my laptop from across the room, I felt like maybe I had taken on more than I could chew, swallow, and actually digest.  With so many things to remember to ensure the storyline carried out consistently, I felt overwhelmed.  Then, I had a nice little "self-talk" with my creative side.  If I was able to start the story than I also new that I could see it through to completion, regardless of how difficult.  After all aren't we, as writers and doers on this earth, supposed to stretch our boundaries every now and again.  Needless to say, I am stretching mine and going beyond my comfort zone, which actually makes me feel proud to take-on such an involved project.  If I can make it through this, I mean, when I make it through this, I will be that much richer in my confidence!

So, I opened my computer and my notepad.  I etched a timeline of events that would occur in the story and titled the places and characters not yet announced.  Next, I reread the first chapter to refresh my mind on the direction of the story and finally started typing.  Almost as if hitting the pause button on my dvd remote (no, I don't have a universal remote) to unpause where I had left off, the story gradually began unfolding and moving again in my head.  Before I knew it I had picked up right where I left off and made it through chapter 2.  Remarkable!  I am even more excited now as I feel my confidence rising and my creativity truly blossoming.  I didn't think I could and am elated to realize that I can.  So can YOU!

Creative Mind!

It never ceases to amaze me how the mind is able to create.  Yesterday, I began writing a fantasy chapter book for young readers (ages 10-16).  Before beginning, I sat at my desk and desperately tried to conger up characters, places, events, and so forth.  My mind was blank, often known as writer's-block.  However, I have always struggled with the idea that writer's minds ever actually go blank.  We have so much to write about, regardless of genre and typical direction.  I have found that I am not able to limit myself to one or two genres because I really never know exactly what or where my creative thoughts are headed to.  I just like to write and I will write about anything to keep my fingers moving on the key pad.  When I sense a block coming on, like a headache, I take appropriate action and just begin typing the first thought that comes to mind.  Just like I would jump up and take a pill to offset a headache.  I take action to ward off being blocked by my own lack of trying.

So, yesterday, I typed my first thought for my fantasy book and the next thing I knew, I was twelve pages and three hours in and had developed nineteen fantasy places and characters in the first chapter.  Wow!  I was so amazed by the creative process that I ran out to the store and purchased a notebook so that I could write down the nineteen new places and characters just so I could keep up with myself.  Also, I needed to help myself so that I wouldn't have to keep back-searching to remember what, where, and who things were as I continue to build the story.  I know this is going to be a tedious task but one that is absolutely thrilling as my mind continues to unfold its fantasy side.  I have never written fantasy before but I am willing to embrace the process and the potential of what this book will become!  I would say "cheers" to you but that word is not in the world that my mind recently created!

Small things!

After finishing my rewrite of 400 pages of my novel, I feel exhausted.  As many of you know, taking on big projects requires a great deal of energy, time, passion, and the kind of stick-to-it-ness that is hard to give to other, lesser, projects.  So, today, instead of throwing myself into something new, I decided it would be best to put the finishing touches on some small-scale projects.  For instance, I will be editing a 1,500 word short story for an upcoming competition.  The genre is sci-fi, which is my first attempt at writing something out of this world (ha!).  Actually, it has been a lot of fun creating a story that is not my typical style.  I tend to lean more towards romance, relationships, self-help, poetry, and such.  So, working on something completely different for me brings with it a splash of freshness.

Sometimes, tapping into areas that we are not typically drawn to can be a very beneficial strategy.  If we spend most of our time doing certain things, we are constantly using the same forces of energy and focus which can become mundane.  However, when we mix things up a bit and do something different, we pull upon different resources to help us out.  As for me, writing a sci-fi short story has allowed me to call upon creative juices that are not always so present.  It is easy for me to write on relationships and health because I have worked in those fields for quite a while.  Now, with the sci-fi, I get to put what I know aside and research deeper levels of my brain, or computer, to create.  Thankfully, it is a small project but it has a large impact on making my day great.  When I'm finished with this short story, I will be longing to pour myself back into an area that I am more familiar with!  cheers!

Finished rewriting novel!

I believe a celebration is due.  After a grueling weekend of rewriting and avoiding rewriting, especially the end, the most difficult piece, it's done.  It wasn't as difficult as I had imagined but, nonetheless, it still tugged on many of my emotions.  I believe it was almost just as fun rewriting the novel as it was writing the original copy.  Now, I am stuck on deciding what to do next.  With a novel and a self-help guide ready to go, I am torn between working on my children's project or a young adult project that involves a very heavy committment.  Plus, there is still another novel already laid out.  I'm leaning toward something a bit more animated. 

I think it will be best to take a break from heavy writing and focus on something a little lighter, the children's project.  This is something I have been waiting for more than a year to write and just needed to wait for the download to come into my brain.  The story line is in place but and, as you know with projects, I need to put the pieces together for it all to make sense.  It should be another exciting adventure that I can't wait to sink my teeth into.  But, before I do that, I think I'll send out a few queries on the novel.  After all, that is why I did the rewrite, right?  Ha! 

Transference!

Now that I have mailed off my final manuscript to the publisher for my relationship-guide for men, I spent most of yesterday continuing to work on my rewrite for my novel.  It amazes me how feelings about a situation can stay with someone for such a long time.  As a professional counselor for many years, I thought I possessed the tools to handle my emotions better and put an end to feeling so hurt and grief-stricken.  My novel, for those who don't know, has many elements that I actually experienced a few years ago.  Though I have written it in a ficitonal manner, the thoughts and feelings of the event still haunt me even as I rewrite them. 

Initially, I wrote the novel as a method to vent my anger and sadness.  That was more than two-and-a-half years ago.  When I was finished the first time, I printed one copy and stored it away, not to be looked at again.  However, I couldn't get it off of my mind because I believe it is a really good story.  When I pulled it down from the shelf recently, to rewrite it, I felt emotionally ready to handle it, so I thought.  For the first three-hundred pages, I was able to manage the rewrite just fine.  I have healed a lot over the past couple of years and approached the rewrite from a writer's point of view and not as an actual character of the book.  However, yesterday, I could feel my emotions building inside of me as I wrote through the storm of that all too familiar event.  By the end of the day, I was upset, frustrated, angry, and needed to shut-down my computer and walk away from it.  I proceeded to go to the gym and workout to help relieve my emotions but found that my body was responding to them with exhaustion.  Though I completed a workout, it was a light one, far different from my normal weight-lifting routine.  When I left the gym, I felt good and relaxed which surprised me even more. 

Today, it was my goal to go back into my novel, as I am a mere ninety pages from completing the rewrite, but I could sense my anxiety rise just from thinking about it.  It was a traumatic time for me when the event actually occurred.  Though I added in many fictional scenes, the particular point of the book that I will have to face is, and was, the most difficult time of my life.  I think it will be best to give myself one more day before I go back in and face my greatest emotional challenge.  It is important to listen to your body! 

Ending the Edit!

Today is a very exciting day for me as I approach the last leg of editing my book, 101 Behaviors a Guy needs to Understand about His Woman!  It's such a fun book to read for couples and, as most people know, for those men who struggle to understand some of the behaviors that their beautiful woman may exhibit.  As I was editing the work, which is due this coming Monday, I found myself chuckling away at my own humor.  I know, sounds a bit egotistical but it was quite funny considering I haven't read it in over six months.  I just hope that those who buy the book approach it with an open-mind and a fun-filled heart.  The book is really meant to be fun but also to open the eyes of men and help them realize what many women experience and why.  No, I am not a woman but I do have a very soft side, a feminine side, that I don't mind putting on display for the sake of improving relationships. 

Today, as I prepare to mail the manuscript to the publisher, I feel a great sense of accomplishment.  I know the editing process is not fully complete yet, but I also know that I have worked really hard on this book.  For a brief moment, I paused to rethink whether or not I wanted this book published.  I questioned my intent and tried to decide if this is the kind of material I want readers to know me for.  Well, that answer was tricky to say the least.  Yes, I want it published because once upon a time I believed in the humor of it and saw the value of making tricky scenarios less threatening.  And, yes, I want to be known as someone that can make progress and growth, in any area, easier to comprehend.  Things don't always have to be as tough as we make them!

Sign Contract & Break!

Two days ago I finally decided to sign the contract, that was offered to me, for various reasons.  One, I asked my group members on Linked-in for some much needed guidance.  I polled those in the group that have had experience with publishing and a few of them had direct experience with the same publisher that offered me the contract.  Their insight was extremely valuable but more so, they each helped me overcome mental barriers about publishing and fill in the gaps of what I didn't know.  Two, once I had my expert panel in place, I was able to get past wanting more and being unrealistic.  I learned to accept the small step of success that would help me move on to greater successes.  I often forget that success has many levels.  I wanted to be instantly recognized and famed but needed to understand that I haven't proven myself yet.  This small step would begin my foundational work of proving myself.  Three, I really needed to have a book published for my own psyche.  This would give me the boost of being a Published Author and it will add an extra bit of motivation to keep writing and believing in myself.  Four, I also really wanted to get this book: 101 Behavior a Guy Needs to Understand about His Woman!, off of my plate and to be done with it!  I had so much fun writing it and it is just as fun to read (so I've been told) but I have since moved on to other material and need to free up space for new works.

Now, that I have made my decision, it is time to celebrate my small step of success and take a much needed break.  Though my rewrite of my novel: The Unleashing, is almost complete, I'm taking two days off to refresh my mind and get out of the city.  Yes, I might gamble 20 dollars (I'm pretty cheap) and eat cajun food with a good friend.  More importantly, I'm clearning my mind from books so that when I return I can put my nose to the grind again and get my next contract.  Thanks to all of you who are supporting me with your smiles, kind words, knowledge, and your own successes.  We all need a break sometime!

Stormy days!

The weather outside was frightful...I love that verse!  Today's weather was stormy as the winds howled non-stop and my chair on the balcony bounced with each gust.  I couldn't help but work on my psycho-thriller rewrite.  I can understand the importance of working on different projects and can appreciate the value they bring.  Sometimes, as a writer, it is easy to focus solely on one thing, especially when writing a book.  However, by changing the project up and working on something different, there is a newness that fills the senses and fresh energy resurfaces as if just starting anew.  I had so much fun today working on my rewrite that I was completely captured by it.  Six hours passed by as if it had only been two and the story gained new life as details forgotten came to life. 

So, even though the weather may be frightful outside, it can be cause to stay in and work on something new, or reapproach something old.  Either way, you win and it is invigorating.  Often, we just need something different to pick us back up!  I'm sort of hoping tomorrow is just as stormy as today!