Last day...a renewed star!

I don't claim to know everything about how the universe works but I have to admit, that sometimes, it completely blows me away!  As the year comes to an end, a falling star landed at my feet.  At first sight, stars glitter and shine and a viewer's eyes are quickly distracted by other shimmering wonders in the midnight sky.  That first star, the one I spent years gazing at, could no longer be seen as my eyes were easily overwhelmed by so many look-alikes appearing, crowding the black canvas.  At first, my star felt loved and desired, the center of attention, only to be over-shadowed by so many others wanting a similar limelight.  As time passed on, its brightness began to fade and as it tried to put forth the effort to sparkle as it once did, it couldn't.  So many other stars shared the same moon's reflection.  So many other stars blocked my line of sight.

Then, in a stroke of brilliance, the once popular star came up with a wonderful plan, requiring much courage and strength.  Regardless of what the outcome would be, it was going to make its move, successfully or die trying.  Without warning and without fear, the dimly lit star raced passed the others and, with one last muster of light, dove through the sky.  Many eyes watched in wonder as the star fell, shooting across the sky and then disappearing over the horizon.  Except for me, I know exactly where my first star landed, right in front of me.  My star's light glowed with excitement and fully recharged, shining like never before.  It was once again the center of my attention, the sparkly in my eye.  Somehow, the universe knew what others did not.  Somehow, the universe, 20 years later, brought a dear friend back into my life and on this last day of the year, I am blessed by the shimmering light that was once fading away!

End of year blagh...

As the end of the year settles in, I am finding that it is tough to be excited.  It is almost like waiting for something magical to happen and it's taking way too long.  I know that the next year will be great, each year always is, but this is the time of year that I have the most struggles.  I have worked so hard to make it through the year and am ready to catapult into the new year but now I have to wait for it to happen.  Everyone around me is off from work or their office is semi-vacant.  There isn't much noise outside my window, everything seems quite as if we are all supposed to hide inside and wait til the coast is clear.  My mind is relaxed and my body has enjoyed the extra workouts as I find ways to help time pass.  The NY Writer's Conference is coming up in four weeks and that is what I am focused on.  So, instead of writing, I've gone to the theatre to see a few movies, which is nice, and make more frequent stops at Starbuck's, which is nicer.  I think I'm feeling the funk!

In retrospect, the end of just about anything is filled with let-down.  Each of us has put forth so much time and energy trying to make this past year the best that it could be, like an 11 month high.  Now, we are sobering up as the we reach the end of this rainbow and await a new one to shine.  Some would say to keep pressing on and make the most of the last few days, like not slowing down at the finish line of the marathon so that you don't lose one second on your time.  Well, I say, if you're feeling like me, now is a great time for doing other things too.  We all know that when the new year comes, we will head into it with a plan for attack.  So why not allow yourself, this week, to tidy up and prepare for the next week, the next year?  There is always much to do but there is not always a set time every year, like this week of blagh, where you can just accept the inevitable high let-down and do something different.  I really should learn new ways to tie my scarfs!

A day to be inspired...

Last night, I felt that I needed some inspiration to write and made a plan to get up the next morning (today), get dressed, eat breakfast and then go to one of my favorite places to write, my local coffee shop.  Yes, it's true.  I love writing at my coffee shop and I had almost forgotten all about it.  Over the last six months, I have been so consumed with writing books that were already on my plate that I had forgotten to take some time to keep my inspiration going.  Sure, we can run on the fuel of our past inspirations for so long but they will not keep us going for ever.  I know, its sad but true.  And yes, I actually had to plan a time for me to go and be inspired.  Sitting at home all day, writing, is a dream come true for me but it can at times feel isolating.  I see the same couch, the same book shelf, the same bathroom and kitchen and dresser.  Don't misunderstand me, I love my place but I need to get out of it and go write elsewhere sometimes and so I did.  Yeah for me! 

Even though I am not a socialite, I enjoy seeing other people do their thing.  I enjoy feeling their energy and I especially enjoy checking out their latest fashion trends.  Yes, I am a closeted fashion junky who loves soft fabrics, nice watches, and a well put together outfit, which is why I am wearing my blue cashmere scarf over my red puma tee-shirt that also has blue in it.  You see, it is things like this that we forget about when we are so focused on something else all of the time.  Each person has many facets and each facet needs to be given proper time and attention.  It is what makes us whole and complete.  So, regardless of what you are doing today, make sure to give your other facets some attention.  You'll be inspired and feel better about yourself!  Now, I must drink my favorite coffee (except for the kind my lover makes me) and keep writing with my new inspiration and energy! 

Thinking ahead...

Though the holidays are among us, I cannot help but think of the upcoming year and all that may be in store.  I will be attending the New York Writer's Conference in January and pitching my fantasy book for young teens.  Thankfully, I have a wonderful editor, Jess (deskofjess.com), who has assured me that my book will be ready for the event.  This last week has been spent trying to get my pitch down to under a minute since time with agent's at the conference is short.  I also will be implementing my marketing plan for my newly released book 101 Behaviors..., thanks to the help of my wonderful assistant Mary (writersassistant.com), and will be interviewed by several book reviewers and bloggers for pod casts.  It is a very exciting time for me and I believe it is going to be an exiting time for you too!

The New Year doesn't necessarily mean that everything has to be new.  There are probably many things that you have started that will continue on into the new year.  I would encourage you to get excited about the continuation of things and how you can improve on what has already been started.  Everything that you accomplished, or didn't accomplish, in the past year still has life to it.  Just because a new year begins doesn't mean to forget about old projects.  As an author, I have learned that finishing a book is truly just the beginning of the process.  There is still much work that needs to be done and the new year brings a renewed sense of life to that process.  Maybe, the new year is all about discovering new methods or strategies that will enhance those things that you long to accomplish.  Embrace the process of growth and you will feel richer on the inside and life will appear to be a very colorful place!

Down to the wire...or not!

As the year comes to an end, I reflect upon the many accomplishments of the last 12 months (why bother reflecting on those things not accomplished?).  I was able to finish writing my youth fantasy book and get it sent off to my editor, as well as wrote five other books, one is already published.  For me, this year has been a very successful one even though it didn't start out that way.  Not only did I finally move into the career that I have longed for (thanks to the help of a very important person in my life), but I faced a few shaky circumstances in getting started; mainly not knowing what I was doing.  Now, I feel much closer to understanding what I am doing and feel more prepared for the new year.  

The next two weeks will be spent finalizing my marketing plan for my published book and getting my notes completed for the start of a new book that I will begin writing after January 1st.  I have to say, these last six months have been exciting; meeting thousands of new people, building marketing skills, networking constantly, and seeing dreams come to fruition.  As I get down to the wire...or not...I am thankful for all that has been accomplished and I feel a more accomplished person than ever before.  Thank you for sharing in this with me!  I wish each of you an accomplished and fun 2011.  May there be many more smiles than frowns; or if you frown may you turn your body upside down to make it into a smile!  The only real deadline in life is your happiness!

When life reminds us...

As the holidays approach for many around the globe (some already celebrating), we are often reminded during vacations just how stressful life can be.  I wonder why it takes vacations to remind us of stress.  Is it because we are so caught up in our stressful lives that when given opportunities to relax, our bodies decompensate and the internally crammed stress begins rising to the surface?  Or, is it because we feel that living with stress and so much to do has become the norm, thus making vacations the abnormal aspects of our lives?  If either are correct, it truly is a sad situation.  So, this holiday season, I want to encourage everyone to focus on enjoying your time away from your normal life and begin to adapt a vacation mentality.

What I mean by "vacation mentality" is this: If you are living your dream life, thus working a job or living a lifestyle that aligns your heart and mind, than you shouldn't be so stressed.  Each day is a wonderful presentation of all that you have done to get this far in life and should be viewed through palm-tree framed polarized sunglasses!  You should step back, often, and smile at the wonderful life that you live.  However, if your life is not your dream world than what is stopping you from achieving your dream world?  There are many small steps that everyone can take to get themselves one step further, towards living their dream.  You may not achieve it immediately but by taking one small step, you are at least believing in yourself and not allowing your dream to be forgotten.  As long as you are moving forward, you are successful!  So, what does your life remind you of?  Stress or vacation?

The art of waiting...

Did you ever have something great occur but had to wait to find out what it was?  Much like being giving a holiday gift but you couldn't open it right away.  Well, when my publisher first explained that my book was partially released (full release on Valentine's Day), I was inundated with ideas for marketing and immediately wanted to get my book into everyone's hands.  Which of course doesn't happen that way.  It took me a few days to relax and realize that marketing doesn't occur as rapidly as my thoughts or desires do.  Thankfully, I have a wonderful assistant who is hard at work to help me establish a great marketing strategy.  Not only does it comfort me to know that we are moving forward but it also helps me to appreciate each step of the process, just like writing a book.  One step at a time.  Of course I want my book in every household across the globe, who doesn't?  But, because I am not yet educated on the marketing build-up and having to wait for responses and planning strategies, it was easy for me to feel let down by things not moving quicker.

There is a time and place for everything.  It is a strategy that I live by and so should you.  I have just recently been reminded of this and now can ease my concerns, of not moving fast enough, because I know that we cannot force everything to happen when we want it to.  The universe moves at a different pace and as long as we don't interfere, things will work out great.  I love the unexpected things in life, that's what makes it so compelling and adventurous.  I don't want everything planned out to a tee, nor do I always want to know the details.  It makes this wave of life more enjoyable and surprising.  Who doesn't like surprises?  However, I am also an action-oriented person and when things aren't happening than I start to panic internally.  Most of us call it stress.  It is during these times that we need to calm ourselves and trust that we are being looked-out for.  By whom?  Well, let's just say that our lives are seen by the unseen!   

A dream come true!

I have always believed in dreams.  More importantly, I have always believed in dreams coming true.  For as long as I can remember, my dream was to be an author.  Though I didn't quite understand how to make my dream come to fruition, I continued to believe that one day it would, as long as I didn't lose sight of it.  As the next twenty years passed by, in a blur, I continued writing, never completing a book.  Then, I realized that I had no choice.  All of my other options in life came and went.  My passion for writing never left me and I knew that I needed to complete a book.  So, at a quiet time in my life, I spent three weeks writing my novel through to completion.  Then I put it away for the next two years and didn't write.  Over the next two years, my desire to write burned inside of me and I went on to spend fifteen Saturdays writing another book, which has now been published.  Today, I received an email from the publisher and they are sending me my author's copy of the book.  I won't even try to describe the joy and sorrow that swept over me.

Joy because of the thrill of finally living my dream.  Though I have written five other books since I finished writing the published work, I have opened myself up to accepting my path.  It has been a long road but I have realized the importance of doing what I have always wanted to do.  Regardless of income, I have to write.  Sorrow because of all that I had to go through to get to this point in my life.  I don't believe I wasted my life but I only wish that I would've understood the importance of living my dream early on.  In short, I can't believe that it is finally happening to me.  At the same time, I can.  As long as you believe in your abilities, it doesn't matter what others tell you.  You owe it to yourself to live your dream and one day, it will come true!  Thankfully, those years that I wasn't living my dream have taught me a lot and given me many stories to write about.  Thank you God, thank you universe, I believe I am now ready!

Overwhelmed with good things!

Too often, we forget that being overwhelmed is not always a bad thing.  Yesterday, I found out that my book 101 Behaviors a Guy Needs to Understand about His Woman! will be released much sooner than expected.  Suddenly, with the help of my amazing assistant Mary (see link at the right "writersassistant"), we went into crunch time to upload videos, put out the buzz, and more.  I cannot describe the feelings inside of the excitement that is pouring through me but it is probably like a fish in a dried up stream when suddenly a dam broke and water gushed out and filled the once dry space.  Instantly, there was life and lots of it and all I can think about doing is capitalizing on the moment and sharing the goodness with those who are by my side!

Being overwhelmed with good things can cause you to be more energetic than normal and it is best to take advantage of the surge of emotions and ideas as they occur.  Why?  Glad you asked.  This is a time when much creativity comes to the forefront and if you wait, you may forget.  So, jump on in and embrace those times when good things happen in your life.  Make the most of it, enjoy the ride, and always remember to include your support system in the process.  You don't have to win an Oscar to feel like a star!  There is no red carpet but I am seeing red in the love of all those who believe in me!

The right mood to write!

This applies to ever passion, writer or not!  There's really no question about it, when a writer is in the right mood to write, the writing is right on!  Okay, sorry for the alliteration but you have to admit that it makes a lot of sense.  As I work towards finishing my young adult fantasy, I have found that I haven't been in the right mood to successfully complete the ending.  Unfortunately, or fortunately, I have recently been bombarded with other tasks requiring my attention; editing my 101 Behaviors book, which is in the publishing process, has taken priority along with updating my blog sites with format and layout revisions, marketing on twitter, establishing my linked-in network, updating facebook, and interviewing marketers and assistants that will help me create material for marketing 101 Behaviors, has all consumed me.  Though I believe these are all good things to be happening right now, I really want to finish my YA fantasy book this week. I miss it!

Being in the right mood to write is extremely crucial.  As a writer, it is easy to get into the created story and stick with it through completion when not distracted by other needs.  However, sometimes it is difficult to leave the writing to attend to other needs when all you want to do is work on the story.  Though everything is equally as important to do (i.e. finished book=editing=publication=marketing=making a living), it is even more important to complete the projects that weigh on the mind heavier.  I have devised a simple solution for my life and want to share it with you.  Never try to clean the slate completely to make room for writing.  Why? The slate will never be empty!  As a writer, write.  When you need a break from writing (which we all do) then work on the slate of other tasks.  It's actually nice to sit in my p.jays at night and design my blogs. Whatever you do, as a writer or anything else, don't lose focus of your passion, mine is writing, because of everything you feel that you need to do.  You know as well as I do, the more you write, the better your mood and the better your writing because you're doing what you love to do.  Stay focused.  Excuse me now, I have a book to finish!

Success is never done alone!

I have always believed that the greatest part of success is sharing it with those who helped to get me there.  These past few weeks, as my book 101 Behaviors a Guy needs to Understand about his Woman! travels through the publishing process, I feel a great sense of success.  After seeing the cover design for the first time, I couldn't help but smile broadly and feel achieved.  There have been a few people in my life who greatly encouraged my writing and helped provide important feedback on the manuscript.  Now, as pre-marketing is underway, more people are joining in on my book endeavor.  It is such a great feeling, though many of them are only doing their jobs, to have such wonderful people also get excited about helping me get on the right track.  I can't help but be appreciative of their guidance and for keeping the fire lit!

Doing anything that causes a sense of success in your life is exciting and adds to your confidence of being on the right path.  However, never forget all of those people that helped you to get there.  Even the smallest action, such as someone telling you that you can do it, is an enormous gift to your success.  Please, take the time to let those people know how much you appreciate them.  The old adage comes to mind, "What goes around comes around."  I like to think that something is coming around for me which makes me feel even better knowing that I have done for others what is now being done for me.  So, without further ado, thank you!  I appreciate every single one of you for being there for me during this time and those who will help to carry the torch even further.  I cherish my friends, family, editor, publisher, marketers, people on the street who liked the idea when I first started talking about it, and especially those who offered kind words of encouragement.  May the cycle of sharing success never end and never be kept to only one person!

The Warrior Mom ---Straight Talk from the Heart.: Misplacing, Losing and Forgetting Stuff: How Does Your Family Confront This Reality?

The Warrior Mom ---Straight Talk from the Heart.: Misplacing, Losing and Forgetting Stuff: How Does Your Family Confront This Reality?

Write life!

There is nothing greater than when a writer takes the time to reflect upon their own life.  By doing so, writers are more able to get in tune with self; feelings, thoughts, ideas, dreams, etc.  Life throws many things at each one of us and it is important to take the time to analize how these things impact our lives.  Why?  Because one day, every writer will use these moments, emotions, thoughts, and more and incorporate them into the writing.  This is why I tend to spend a great deal of time focusing on the things that happen in my life.  To share these moments with you is not only growth and development in the analysis process but it also allows me to try to put these happenings into words.  Let's just say it is a sketch pad for first attempts to describe the sensations that I feel when living through such times.  Try it!

Think of a time that you experienced something that caused you to express great emotions, whether good or not so good.  Now, try to write about your situation.  By doing this, you are essentially establishing a note pad in your brain that you can recall later when you are writing about a similar situation in your book or article.  It's a great exercise to practice and make part of your routine.  As writers, we need to find ways to continue to build our skills.  We often get distracted by what we are writing (book, article, etc.) but need to take the time to hone our skills by writing about our own lives.  Have fun with it and write about yourself with passion and detail.  You never know, you may end up writing a great short story or even another book!

Closeness!

There are few moments in life when I, or most people, actually feel completely connected to someone else.  Often, we don masks to fit in or keep situations calm thus not truly being ourselves.  We like to join in on conversations and agree to things we don't really agree with or act in ways we normally wouldn't act if not in a particular circumstance.  Even though we try to be ourselves and emit our true emotions, ideas, beliefs, and behaviors, it is sometimes difficult to find "those people" that really accept who we are and everything else about us.  We all seem to have thoughts of what we are willing to accept and feel connected with, when around other people.  Thankfully, we are all different and so this is an acceptable practice.  However, imagine, if you will, what the world would be like if everyone accepted everyone, regardless of differences.

These past few days, for me, have been some of my greatest.  Not only has my father begun to accept the person that I am, and maybe he did all along, but we actually talked about it maturely for the first time.  The conversation was such a time of healing for me that the days to follow were absolutely fantastic.  Then, a person that I feel truly connected with in all areas of life came for a visit.  Though the visit was far shorter than I wished it to be, it made my heart leap with joy and of feeling accepted for the person that I am.  Love, it is a deep word that is often lived and expressed at the surface level.  Today, because my father has reached out to me, I feel years of wounds instantly healed.  I am so proud of my dad!  Today, because I was visited by a friend who truly understands everything about me, I feel blessed and appreciated.  Though these are two different forms of closeness, they are both examples of what true love is and I am grateful for them!

Writing with emotion...not emoticons!

Writing is one of the few methods left that actually allow a person to describe emotions.  Too often today, emotions are shut down by gadgets and make-shift pictures in texting, blogging, etc.  However, in order to truly connect with readers, writers need to use an old and proven practice that has held true for mutliple millenium: writing.  I remember when all forms of written communication were actually written out by hand.  Though I love the easier process of typing and punching phone keypads, when it come to telling a story, readers want to feel connected and the only way to make that happen is to literally write (type) with emotions.  For many writers, getting an emotional situation across is daunting if not impossible.  This is where acting school comes in-hand for writers. 

When writing from the heart, it is important to take a minute and put yourself back into a situation that allows you to feel.  Yes, feel the emotions.  If your writing a dark scene than remember a personally dark time.  If writing about love, remember a loving time, and so forth.  It is much easier to describe emotions when you can actually feel them.  Then, you will be able to expound upon them and use metaphores to help readers grip the scene as you want them too.  Today, as I write, I must put myself back into a time that was hurtful to me, reliving some of those damaging emotions so that I can accurately describe them for my readers.  I want my readers to feel the pain with me and to do that I will be sure that I too am feeling it too!

Healing...

There have been several things in my life that I have not always been so pleased about or proud of.  There have been many people that I have hurt, though unintentionally, as I strove to find my way in life.  A place where I felt that I belonged and could freely be the man that I am.  I have moved too many times to count and met endless numbers of people.  I have seen and climbed high mountain peaks, paddled dangerous rivers, backpacked for weeks at a time, and even saved a few lives along the way.  However, I never really found that special place that gave me the sense that I was where I was supposed to be.  Maybe my heart was torn between wounds of the past and dreams of the future.  Unknowingly to me, I would have to heal old wounds in order to move towards my dreams with the kind of success that includes the ones that I really want to be there with me.

As time passes and I continue to push myself forward in a world that moves extremely fast, I have, thankfully, matured.  Old attitudes and beliefs have been replaced with new outlooks and hopes.  Once ancient ideas and understandings have been dusted off and brought back to life.  With so many things that I wish I would have done better yet having no regrets of trying to comprehend me and my heart's desires.  For years I have wept because I felt alone and afraid, not knowing who I was.  For even more years, I have longed to be close with those that I cherish, my family of origin.  Now, I have taken a giant step towards healing all because others took a giant step too.  Tears flowed down my winter cold cheeks but my heart raced with gladness, feeling that maybe I have belonged the entire time.  I just didn't know it because I couldn't accept who I was and help others understand me at the same time.  Though I am starting to embrace me, I know I have a long way to go but it sure feels less lonesome to travel with the support of my family.  This is healing and I will one day write about it!

Things to write about!

The writing process is a wonderful thing, especially when you are not writing.  As I live life and experience several happenings around me, I can feel how certain scenarios touch on those deeper emotions that I had hoped were tucked safely away at the bottom of my well.  However, life often has tricks to play on a person and reminds them that such emotions still exist.  Events such as reconnecting with family, old friends, observing the passing of a loved one, trying to fit in, overcoming the past, and so much more.  For me, this past week has challenged my heart, pulling tightly on those strings that leave me stranded between wanting to run away and wanting to run closer to those who do the pulling.  These same people cause me to feel, to experience something emotionally risky, and to pay close attention to what is happening inside of me.

As I write, such scenarios help me to actually write better.  When I develop characters, environments, kitchen scenes, funerals, family interactions, etc., such life experiences help me to reflect and accurately record those feelings in the words that I write.  Those experiences, though they may not be easy to live through, or they become easier to live through and appreciate, allow me to write with feeling, from the heart, and describe the stringed instrument that plays chords in my heart and my soul.  They allow me to let the reader get a true glimpse inside and live through it with me.  It is what makes connections between writer and reader.  For that, I am thankful for the awkward, comfortable, healing, and sometimes dreadful experiences which have given me plenty of things to write about in great detail.  That's the beauty of life, we can all draw from our experiences to enhance who we are and how we live!

A life-long gift!

Often, days begin with flat emotions, unsure of what to expect and how to feel.  In a place full of history, hurt, love, and times rather forgotten, my heart beat, waiting for my mind to decipher the scenario so that it could leap or plummet.  Like many others, I live far away from those that I call family.  Now, as I return home for the funeral of one of our most adored patriarchs, I am torn between happiness and sadness.  I am happy because I know that my grandmother's broken heart, from losing my grandfather three and a half years ago, is mended for eternity.  My sadness comes as I wonder, with both grandparents gone from earth, how our family will remain glued together and who will step up and into such loving shoes? 

Since I was born, my grandmother had loved without judgement and always with great care.  Her kind words gave us hope during rough times and brought great satisfaction to our souls.  When we had family get-togethers, I would travel across the country just to see her and feel her loving arms wrap around me.  She wanted nothing more than for our family to be close.  She wanted us to always be together and forgive wounds of the past.  She wanted healing for each of us though none of us could heal her from aging.  Today, as grandmother rested in her white box with painted on flowers and a pink interior, her wish came true, at least for today.  Her family was together and things once thought important or hurtful between family members had been forgotten, maybe even forgiven, as we relished in her legacy and offering us a life-long gift: love!

Making the best of the worst.

It's early, the dark sky helps the street lights to reflect the drizzling rain on the window.  Bright beads of moisture fall to the ground.  I am a bit unsettled this morning, having just flown across the country to be with family and attend my grandmother's funeral, my eyes are noticing every spec of detail that surrounds me.  The beach painting on the wall and the plaques neatly lined up across the mantel.  Photos from the 70's and reed stalks standing at attention in the corner.  I ask myself why they are there.  Now, as I sit and type on a faster computer than mine, I accept that I am not in my warm, cozy den of a space.  I am not home, which causes my senses to be on high-alert and decipher what's around me.  Though being here isn't truly new, being that it is my family, it is more that we lost a cherished and adored woman and I don't think we know what to do next.  Her death is hard to make sense of.

That's the beauty in writing.  It is often difficult to make sense of the process yet as we live through it, developng space and characters, researching facts and timelines, marketing, reaching out, and all of the "stuff" that comes with it, as a writer, I embrace every little detail of it, liked or disliked.  One thing that my grandmother taught me in life was to never sway from what you believe in.  For me, I believe in every character that I write about, every scene that is created, or on the non-fiction side, every person that my professional background will help through my experiences that I can share in words.  Before all of that, I believe in myself and I am grateful that I had a grandmother who believed in me too!  When we face tough times and not-so-good moments, it is easier to get through them when we recall the easy times and those extraordinary happenings that we were blessed to be a part of.  I will get through her funeral.