I was supposed to go on a hike today to get away from the stress of looking at my email, waiting for an agent to reply positively. When I rolled out of bed the sky was gray. Within an hour it was raining and suddenly tornado warnings blared through the howling wind. Soon, trees were toppling over and hail began to pour down on my porch. I stepped outside to look into the moving clouds and it was cold. Sirens continued roaring as I watched the hovering white moisture turn circles and become ever thick and scary. I withdrew into my third floor apartment and slipped on my flip-flops. As I hustled down the stairwell and out to my car, the sky was black but I didn't mind. This was a perfectly good excuse to skip the hike and head to the gym for a workout. At least, at the gym, there is a downstairs that I could run to just in case a tornado did touch down. Instead of waiting to see what would happen outside, I focused on doing something healthy inside. It was a good workout and the sky is still crying upon idling souls.
My horoscope said that I should do what I want to today and relax. I agreed. This past week was strenuous with no new news of my getting signed by an agent. Yesterday, I wrote an article and sent it off to three major U.S. newspapers with the hope that someone would read it and want to print it. I still haven't received my first "by-line" which makes it even tougher for me to validate my writing. I am a good writer though I just need someone in the business to confirm it. Then, I will be able to prove to my mother that all of my dreams are coming true and she will better understand why I left home at the age of 17. I knew I was different than my family of origin and it is safe to say that they don't quite get me. They don't understand my dreams because they are far different than my upbringing and what they know. As the first to graduate college, and with a few degrees, my family and I see life differently and I want more than what they were able to teach me. I am not better than they are but I am more driven to do the things that I dream about doing. Writing is my life because I have so much to say and guidance to offer people who are suffering. I believe in myself and I guess, for now, that's really all I need but it would be so much sweeter if an agent believed in me too!
Today's storm reminds me that the weather can change rather quickly and so can my representation status. Just because it is cloudy today doesn't mean it will be cloudy tomorrow! I'm going to breakthrough this week and find a more positive outlook on this process. My excitement is overwhelming and I shouldn't worry about rejections. Failure is the door leading to success as long as I keep walking forward!
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